


what are we if never intertwined?

by eggharbor



Series: got the same issues to work through [5]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Gangs, Angst with a Happy Ending, Archie Andrews Being an Asshole, Asexual Jughead Jones, Betty Cooper Deserves Better, Betty Cooper Loves Jughead Jones, Betty Cooper Needs a Hug, Bisexual Betty Cooper, Bisexual Veronica Lodge, Cheryl Blossom is a Good Friend, Childhood Friends, Depressed Betty Cooper, Enemies to Friends, F/F, F/M, Jughead Jones Loves Betty Cooper, Kevin Keller is a Good Friend, M/M, Protective Betty Cooper, Protective Jughead Jones, Redemption, Reggie Mantle Not Being an Asshole, Reggie Mantle is a Good Friend, Sad Veronica Lodge, Toni Topaz is a Good Friend, Veronica Lodge Needs a Hug, Veronica Lodge-centric, i think it's very funny that this is a tag now, i would die for these soft fools, i'm so sorry if you haven't read the first fic, ignore all of canon we make our own rules, love me please, this entire story will make no sense, veronica fucked up a whole lot but she's trying to fix her mistakes, veronica is a mess but at least she's trying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:15:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24946705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eggharbor/pseuds/eggharbor
Summary: Veronica Lodge, post-triangle, wasn't a good person. She knows it now, recognizes the cruelty in the mirror that she'd tried to ignore for so long. All alone again, she knows that something has to give.She's made a lot of mistakes since she left Betty behind. She's hurt a lot of people. Starting now, she's going to right those wrongs, even if it kills her.(In which Veronica knows the road to redemption is long and hard, but Betty is more than worth the trouble.)
Relationships: Archie Andrews/Betty Cooper (past), Archie Andrews/Veronica Lodge (past), Betty Cooper & Veronica Lodge, Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones, Betty Cooper/Veronica Lodge (one-sided), Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz, Dilton Doiley/Ethel Muggs, Fangs Fogarty/Sweet Pea, Ginger Lopez/Tina Patel, Kevin Keller/Moose Mason, Reggie Mantle/Josie McCoy, Valerie Brown/Melody Valentine
Series: got the same issues to work through [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1197766
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	what are we if never intertwined?

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This story will describe a character facing anorexia, and at times it may get slightly graphic. Please, please, please, if you are facing an eating disorder, get help. I do not condone eating disorders. This story is based on my experiences in high school, and as such I'm going to go into some detail, so if this story will negatively affect you in any way, then please do not read it. Thank you.
> 
> The title song is "Bayou" by Mountains of the Moon, and this chapter is "I Wish I Never Met You" by Oh Wonder.

The start of the end is one sentence, five words, fifteen letters. “We need to break up.”

They’d met up at Pop’s, usual booth, after she’d been twirling around at benefit dinners all summer long and he’d been performing local venues and writing songs that sounded like loss and heartache. She thought it was because he missed her. “We need to break up.”

Of course it wasn’t. Because it always — _always_ — comes back to one person.

Betty.

“We need to break up.” She blinks, but if she’s really and truly being honest with herself, this has been a long time coming.

Because it’s Betty. Because it’s always, _always_ Betty, it always comes back to Betty, because she’s known about Archie’s wandering eyes since they were nine years old and he’s never going to be satisfied, not with her, not when he can romanticize the girl they left behind. Because it’s Betty, and they had loved her with everything they had, and then they had hated her with the same fierceness. Because it’s Betty, and Veronica and Archie have been fighting for months, because Betty hasn’t spoken two words to her since last October but she’s seen Archie commenting on Betty’s posts on Instagram and she’s known this was coming she knew it _she knew it_ —

She laughs but she feels like crying. “I knew it.”

Archie doesn’t say anything else, but he doesn’t have to, because really, what’s there to say? It’s Betty.

They don’t order anything. She’d call her driver, but she doesn’t want to be home, not where all of the photos of her and Archie are hung up on her walls. So she walks, and she keeps walking.

Because it’s always, _always_ Betty. She should’ve known.

Veronica remembers what it’s like to love Betty Cooper. She knows that Archie does, too. She thinks it’s a requirement of being Betty’s friend, being a little bit in love with her. It’s what blinds people to her faults.

It’s a week after the… _incident,_ at Pop’s, when she and Archie are finally allowed back, and she vows to forget the feeling of being in love with Betty, because all it has ever brought her is heartache.

“Are you coming over this weekend?” Archie asks, and Veronica thinks of the girl next door, the way she’s looked since the start of summer, thinks of the backyard barbecues with Betty tucked into her side. Veronica thinks of the past, of sleeping over and snuggling with her best friend, her other half, the B to her V. Veronica thinks of Betty, because honestly, how can she not?

But Betty is gone, a traitor and a liar and a monster, and Veronica and Archie are so much better off without her around. So Veronica says, “Of course, Archiekins.” And that’s that.

She ends up at Sweetwater River.

It’s weird, being here without Betty. It feels wrong. Like… like without Betty, there’s a gaping hole in her memory of this place. Like without Betty, there isn’t any significance to it at all.

Betty Cooper was her first real friend. She remembers her dad’s arrest, remembers the whispers in the hall on the lips of children who really couldn’t begin to understand the gravity of the situation. She remembers ripping the pearls from her neck, sobbing in the bathroom stall.

She remembers…

“Veronica?”

She’d screwed up her face in anger, why couldn’t they all just _leave her alone—_ “What do you _want_?”

“Do you want to split a snickerdoodle?” And it had hit her, then, that the girl talking to her, the girl who had found her crying in the bathroom, the girl who had the gentlest voice in the whole fourth grade, was _Betty Cooper_.

Betty Cooper, whose dad had died years ago, who’d endured countless names and brush-offs and cruel remarks with a simple smile. Betty Cooper, a girl she herself had mocked in the past, because she dressed in ratty overalls and rough-housed with the boys and she was not at all on Veronica’s mind, thank you very much. Betty, who was kind to everyone without ulterior motive, who had defended Kevin and befriended Archie, a girl who always stood up for the right thing with no questions asked.

Betty Cooper, a girl with no reason to be nice to her.

“Are you serious?” She found herself saying.

“I mean, if you don’t want to…” The lilt in Betty’s voice was almost teasing. Blinking back tears, Veronica almost wanted to giggle.

She didn’t care if she looked desperate when she rushed into Betty’s arms. Nearly ten years later, she’s almost certain Betty didn’t either. That’s not who Betty is. “Thank you,” she’d whispered into the crook of Betty’s neck. When she’d let go, finally, Betty had grabbed her hand and tugged her lightly towards the bathroom door.

“C’mon,” she’d smiled at her, “let’s go get that cookie before Archie steals it.”

_That’s_ who Betty is, Veronica’s realized since. Betty is good, she’s kind and sweet and loyal to an absolute fault. Even now, looking back, she knows that the real reason things had fallen apart so badly is because Betty is—

Betty is better than her. Better than she’ll ever be.

She shakes her head. No, there’s no use in spiraling down into self-pity right now. It hurts too much. Numbly, she grabs for a smooth stone on the shore and tries to recall what Betty had taught her about skipping rocks on the water. She steadies herself, exhales lightly, flicks her wrist—

It lands with a single splash. She nods to herself.

Right.

It doesn’t matter anyway. It’s not the same without Betty.

They’re sitting in the student lounge the day after it happens, Veronica on Archie’s lap, and everyone seems to understand that they are not to bring up what happened under any circumstances. Even though Kevin had texted her relentlessly last night after she’d made the change to the group chat, even though Reggie seems to be subconsciously scanning the room for a blonde ponytail, even though Ethel keeps fidgeting in her chair, they’re all in tacit agreement. The fight is none of their business.

And Veronica appreciates it, because she’s barely processed it herself, and she doesn’t have the energy to break it all down for an audience. She’d been so… _horrible_. She’d said so many things in a blind rage that she can’t even recall at the moment. She’d screamed so many acrid, stinging words that she didn’t mean, words that clawed their way up from the worst part of her heart and hurled themselves at someone who deserved none of them. And she wants to apologize, more than anything. Because… Because…

She should’ve known what was coming the minute Cheryl Blossom opened her mouth. She’d been far too quiet since the moment she sat down.

“So what about Betty?”

And it rises up inside her again, that ugly fit of fury and desperation that’s now so entwined with her feelings towards her former best friend.

_Former_. The word feels wrong.

But Betty doesn’t love her. Betty abandoned her. Betty hates her, Betty left, and yes, she knows that she was the one who fired the last shot, and yes, she should’ve chased after her and pulled her into her arms and told her that she was Veronica’s entire world and more—

But _God_ , Betty walked away. Betty _left_ , and maybe that was the right call, because Betty is so perfect and she’s so kind, kinder than anything Veronica could ever deserve.

_So what about Betty?_

She lets the anger possess her, lets out all the skin-crawling heartache she’s kept locked in her chest for too long. “Yeah, she’s a total bitch,” she snarls, relishing in the bitter aftertaste the words leave in her mouth. “God, I can’t believe we put up with her for so long. ‘Look at me, I’m Saint Betty, love me, love me!’” There are tears welling up behind the mask she’s wearing, and she hopes beyond hope that no one else can see. “What a joke. It’s a total cry for help. Honestly, I feel bad for her. She’s so pathetic.”

“I only really let her stick around because we were neighbors,” Archie adds, but it’s too casual, too relaxed. “If I had known what a backstabbing control freak she’d turn out to be, I would’ve just steered clear.” God, can’t he _feel_ it? Feel how much it hurts, like a knife to the chest that she doesn’t have the strength to remove. She’s bleeding out right here in the student lounge, dying without her other half, and nobody _cares_.

They all laugh, but it’s not real. None of this feels real. Betty should be here with them, why isn’t Betty here with them?

“Hi.”

Oh. There she is.

Betty’s smiling but it’s the wrong smile, and only someone who knows Betty like she used to can tell. Betty’s always been great at pretending, she taught Veronica everything she knows. The mask she wears is secondhand, it first belonged to her. Veronica feels her jaw click, feels a ghostly chill of fear settle over her. Archie’s hand on her back is now fisting her blouse, and usually she’d chastise him for wrinkling her clothes, but—

_Betty_.

“I’m looking for Jughead. Have any of you seen him?” And it starts to settle over her that Betty heard them. It’s the only explanation for the way she looks right now, for the red flush in her cheeks and the barely put together facade she’s upholding. For the slight tremor in her stance, the fists balled up by her sides, for the slight sheen in her eyes. Betty is about to fucking _break_.

The worst, worst part of her, the part Veronica wishes would just wither up and die, whispers, _Good_.

“Um,” Ethel mumbles, and before she can think better of it, she directs all her anger at that whisper straight towards Ethel, sending her a look that would level cities. “I think he’s in the Blue and Gold office, Betty.”

“Thanks, Ethel,” Betty says, her voice so quiet that Veronica has to strain to hear her. She smiles again, false brightness and fake cheer. Betty is about to fucking _break_ — “See you around!” But Betty is waving goodbye, and Betty is walking away again, and she should chase her down and pull her into her arms and never ever let go because _Betty is Veronica’s entire world and more_ and… and…

Betty is gone. And God, does it hurt, it fucking _hurts_ , the pain is suffocating her and she feels the heat in her cheeks, feels her tears trailing down her cheeks.

And despite how hollow she feels, how empty it all is without Betty, she laughs. She can’t breath, she’s laughing so hard, and she hears the others join in around her, more nervous and timid, probably terrified of her, _oh God_ —

Archie is murmuring something but she can’t quite hear him, rubbing circles on her back, and it’s only then does she realize she isn’t laughing anymore.

She’s crying.

So the day before senior year begins, she drags a cardboard box up to the penthouse and into her bedroom and starts throwing in all of her keepsakes from Archie. A copy of the lyrics of the first song he ever wrote for her. Her polaroids of them. Postcards he sent her from Chicago. Tickets to their first drive-in movie alone. A stuffed bear he won for her at a carnival. And even so, the box is only halfway full when she’s done.

She sighs, then carries the box out to the living room.

Maybe the problem is how much she’d _wanted_ to love Archie. Archie was, and had always been, the ideal. The football player with a heart of gold and a sensitive soul. Betty had been her first friend, but Archie had been her first love, and by God did she want him to be her last. That’s what she was supposed to want, anyway.

But in truth, she never would’ve befriended Archie without Betty there to break the ice between them. She never would’ve gotten so close to him at such a young age without Betty there to balance them out. Maybe the root of the problem is that Archie _wasn’t_ her first love, really. Because before Archie…

There’d been Betty.

Betty, with her big blue eyes and her big shiny smile and her big bleeding heart, wrapping Veronica in warm hugs and making her feel less alone for the first time in so long. Because when Toni Topaz had come out, Veronica realized that the reverence she had for her best friend was more than platonic affection. Because really, who refers to their best friend as their destiny?

Veronica had realized that she was bisexual and in love with Betty at the exact same time that she realized Betty would never love her like that. Because Veronica looked at Betty the same way Betty looked at Archie, the same way Archie looked at…

It’s selfish, really, telling Betty she likes Archie too. And it’s selfish, setting him up with Val when she knows what she knows. But maybe things will click now, maybe Betty will look at her like she looks at Archie and she’ll hold her hand and everything will be beautiful.

That’s not what happens.

“Veronica? What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

Veronica looks up from the box and wipes away her tears with the back of her hand. “Mom? Could we maybe order in tonight? Watch a movie?”

Her mom doesn’t ask questions. But the look on her face and the way she pulls Veronica into her arms tells her that her mom knows exactly what has happened.

And before she can stop herself, she starts to cry once more.

“Archie is such a good guy, B,” she had said with a sigh. Betty had been kicking her legs out from the bench for a few minutes, but stopped suddenly upon Veronica’s admission. “It kind of sucks because it makes it hard to hate him.”

“Then don’t hate him,” Betty had whispered, reaching out to lock their pinkies together. “I don’t hate you.”

There was a beat that passed between them while Veronica decided on the proper response.

“Maybe you should.”

She and Archie broke up. They’re over. It’s done. And Veronica is beginning to realize that she is startlingly alone.

It’s been months since she’s really spoken to her friends, or hung out with them, or, well… interacted with them positively in any way. She’d been so isolated in her own little world with Archie that she’d kind of forgotten about them. Which kind of sucks.

So Veronica has a plan. It’s not a very good one — actually it’s probably less of a ‘plan’ and more of a generalized idea of the results she’d like to see and an extremely rough outline of how to get there. But that doesn’t matter so much. Whatever it is, it’s a start.

She washes her face, and looks in the mirror. Her eyes are puffy and red, she can barely work up the effort to smile, and she looks about two seconds from passing out cold on the bathroom floor. Despite it all, she feels light as air. Because the other thing Veronica is beginning to realize is that she’s _free_. And honestly?

It feels good.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey nerds, I'm back on my bullshit! To those asking for a sequel... here it is folks :) To be honest I always wanted to continue the story on past junior year, especially since I just graduated high school and things have most certainly changed since I published my first fic in this series. So... we're back!
> 
> For everyone who's accompanied me on the wild ride this universe has been, thank you thank you thank you! Y'all got me through some tough times, and I cannot express to you enough how much it means to me. Much love to you all <333
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
